#131 Jeremy Myers - Conspiracy Theory
Jeremy Myers - Philadelphia native, Colorado resident, Porsche enthusiast and BMX bike guru, and Mount Side Podcast counterpart and returning guest. This is the 131st episode of The Mountain Side Podcast which Jeremy has co-produced since the start of The Mountain Side Podcast. Bobby is joined by Jeremy to discuss, podcast episodes Cars, Jack Carr, Yellow Stone National Park, Conspiracy, hailstorms, tornadoes, family, friends, outdoor life, and much more. Please subscribe or like us on social media platforms for updates on shows, events, and episode drops.
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Jeremy Myers - Conspiracy Theory
Our guest for this episode is Mountain Side Zone, Jeremy Myers. He has been with me since episode one of the show. He has been here for over 90% of the recordings and over 130 episodes. I always enjoy having him in the hot seat. This was a great episode. I always enjoy spending time with Jeremy. I hope you enjoy this episode.
Jeremy Myers, cheers.
I saw Yellowstone from a highway when I was driving through Idaho. It's way off in the distance. You can tell that's it right there. My wife had a dinner planned in Utah. She made reservations a month and a half ahead of time. I’m like, "Let's take a day and go in that direction. It'll be epic." She's like, "This restaurant is impossible to get reservations to.” I’m sure you had a better time, Gabby.
It was cool. It was an awesome trip. We did go through Idaho.
Did you do the Tetons?
We did Tetons and Yellowstone. We saw Jackson Hole, but we were debating how we get to the Tetons because we were staying in the Big Sky area. We had talked to the Yellowstone Park people and they were like, "You can do a scenic route. You can drive through Montana and Idaho into Wyoming." That was a beautiful drive.
I did the opposite.
Idaho is weird. It's pretty. I don't know how to explain it. It's so farmland. It's just grass but then there's these gorgeous Tetons. I was like, "Where are we?" It’s nothing.
Everything seems like it's in the distance in Idaho or something.
It's over that ridge.
It's pretty. You can tell everything seems like a little bit farther away than you want to go.
Where did you go in Montana?
We stayed in the Big Sky area on a ranch out there.
Sounds like that sucks.
It was beautiful. It was awesome. We were by this cool river.
Did you see any animals, any bears or anything?
Three bears.
Grizzlies?
One Grizzly, two black bears, a moose, bison, and elk, which I feel spoiled because I see that all the time when I go to work. My parents are like, “Wow, a bison.” I’m like, “Whatever. It's another Tuesday for me.” The moose was cool. I wanted to see a moose badly.
That’s the only one I’ve ever seen. It was literally standing in the middle of the Madison River on our way from Bozeman to Ennis. We're shooting down and I go, “What the fuck is that?” It was like a postcard. It was 7:00 AM and the sun is coming up. It’s all beautiful. The water is raging and there's this prehistoric animal standing there looking at us. I’m driving at 10 miles an hour. I’m like, “This is insane.” I’ve never seen one up here. It was a treat, especially to see one up there.
I’ve seen one full-on like a giant monster.
The one I saw was either a female or didn't have its full antlers yet.
They were probably in the velvet while you guys were up there.
It was far away because it was in the water. We were in the Tetons and hiking, and it was way down there. Someone pulled us aside and said, “A few feet up is a moose. Make sure you stop.” I would've never seen it if someone didn't tell us to stop. That was cool. It was hanging out in the water and I was like, “That thing is huge,” even though it's so far away. They're so massive.
I ran into a couple of them in some of the spots where I hunt on a game trail and there's nowhere to go. If you're in an alley of oak brush, you can't crawl through this stuff. It's one of the scariest things. You're like, "Shit, I'm going to turn around and walk backward."
Was it nice up there the whole time for you, Gabby?
It was beautiful. We got some rain a little bit, but it was nice. It would be in the middle of the day and a quick rain shower. If you've ever been to Yellowstone, it's so much driving anyway, so we were in the car half the time.
That is God's country. That's a different place. I love the Tetons.
We're going to make a trip to go back there because we only did the Tetons for a day. When we went through Jackson Hole, we were like, “We need to make a whole trip back here. Do part of Utah.” There was so much we didn’t see.
Even outside of Yellowstone or if you get over into the Elk Refuge.
Which way is that?
I don't know how to explain it. What's the highway that runs through there?
Through Yellowstone?
Through the Tetons. There are free-range bison out there and stuff. It's super cool. Also, antelope and horses. That iconic barn that they always take a photo of where the Tetons are in the background. If you search Teton's barn or something, there are probably thousands or millions of photos of it.
It's unreal even living out here and seeing mountains all the time. I was like, "This isn't even looking real."
Conspiracy Theory: The Tetons barn is epic. It's unreal. Even when you’re living out in the country and seeing mountains all the time, it still doesn’t even look real.
It's a totally different type of country. That and Glacier Parks in Northern Montana. Did you make it up that far?
No. We just wanted to lay eyes on as many thousands of miles as we could. It was like getting up in the morning and charging, “That's awesome.” We were rolling through, trying to put miles on, and seeing as much as we could pretty much from the car. It sucked, but we were on a little bit of a scouting mission. We never pulled the trigger, but we were like, “I can deal with this climate and this landscape.”
You then settled on Florida.
We bought a house in Florida. That's hilarious. It feels like Florida here. This is wild. It's a jungle out there right now.
It's flooding on my way here.
Was it?
In I-25 and I-76, my wheels were underwater. I’m like, “Where are we?”
I know that this is normal, but I don't remember it being like this in the past seven years.
I can't say that I’ve ever remembered being in a tornado warning in Evergreen.
Welcome to the Mountain Side Tornado News Desk. My phone is blowing up and there's a tornado coming through. I feel like I’ve arrived now that I have a hail-damaged car. It's like, “This guy must be native.”
That's a staple. That's why I don't buy new cars. That's why I drive that first-generation Tundra. The truck got no hail damage during the fucking crazy ass storm. All the other cars that we own were thrashed. My truck is totally fine. Those things are steel boxes.
My Toyota handled it pretty well but I had that cool vintage 4Runner that I bought for James. That got pretty fucked up.
That thing needed some more character but hail damage is not cool.
It's not cool at all. It's like, “You were caught in a storm.” Hail patina isn't a thing, like weathered patina or some rock chips or something.
It's like buying a car with bullet holes.
You've been through some shit having them. It's textured. That sucks. I feel bad for him. That was his baby. It was standing in the garage.
Get one of those suction cups and some dry ice.
We'll find out.
Teach him how to do some bodywork.
We're checking out to see if we can get it fixed. We were standing out, charged up into my garage with the protected cars. We were watching our other ones get fucking destroyed from the garage. I’m like, “That one hurt.” You see a baseball drop off of the hood. It's so lush out and everything. I was driving down my road and noticed that the elk looked like people's decks. Have you noticed that? They're the exact color of everyone's deck in my neighborhood. I’m like, “Is Bob putting a dish on his deck?” It's like a giant cow. It turns its head and looks at me. It's the same fucking color. It's hilarious.
I’ve seen a bunch of calves lately too. It’s awesome seeing the baby elk and stuff. I love it here. I remember extreme weather growing up. I remember some lightning storms here as a kid, and hiding in our bathroom. My mom and everybody were huddled in the back.
In the seven years that I’ve been here, I haven't seen hail like that at all. We've had hail, but it was little pellets.
Normally, that's on the front range.
I watched all the cars and things. All the dudes are like, “It's coming.” People are showing pictures of all the shit that they throw over the top of their cars. It's fucking hilarious. They’re packing blankets and a giant inflatable, and they pull a ripcord. It's like one of those ejection things or the ramps that come out of a plane. They pull it and it blows up around their car.
They make those in backpacks for avalanches too. I think it keeps the air around your head. That would be a good one to have. You need them for your cars now, like a little ripcord inside. Episode 131 is fucking crazy.
By the way, could you have done me a favor and not put me behind somebody like fucking Scott Parker?
The list of people we have coming up and the people I’m talking to are some professional athletes, have been on Rogan, and outdoor people.
It's called Getting Traction.
I’ve been saying since episode 100, “I got to do another one with Jeremy.” We've been putting it off because we keep getting something. I was like, “Enough is enough.” I booted some time next week so we could get you in here.
I was sitting in the chair and looking at this fucking monster. I’m like, “I’m going to be fucking next.”
Who? Scott Parker?
Yeah. I’m like, “What a fucking awesome human.” Being in the hot seat after him, I haven't beaten the shit out of anybody. I don't have any stories like that.
I think about how many fistfights he's been in. I’ve been in a couple, but not on the ice 200 nights a year.
Did you hear his mouth going? I don't even want to listen to this guy fucking talk anymore. I walk away.
With those guests, I used to get nervous. Now I don't. Now I’m just myself. I used to be afraid to ask them the wrong question the first time I had a pro fighter. Even though I’ve been around them a little bit, each one of them is different. We've had some savages in here from Dustin Jacoby and Marc Montoya.
It's always the cliche thing that everybody says, “They're always the nicest people.” It's totally true.
It's a cliche that everybody says that fighters are always the nicest people, and it's actually totally true.
It's the same way with some of the operators like Jeremiah. They are some of the coolest people I had here.
Those dudes are way more intense.
There's a different type of edge when it comes to it. They genuinely tell you how they feel. There is no filter. I felt Scott was like that a lot too.
I feel that. There's definitely a different thing. They're not doing that up. Those fighters are there because that's what they want to do every single day. I don't know that some of those operators want to face death every day.
It's entirely different things. Scott said it best, “Those guys go to war. We go to battle.”
What do those dudes train at or at what percent? They're not trying to kill each other every day, and then there's me here. I’m not killing anybody.
I want to keep the show as real as possible. One thing that I am going to change up in 2023 is I don't think I’m going to do a Christmas special. What do you think about that?
I think you need to carry me down the steps after each one of those blunders.
It made me think, “What am I doing here?” That's one more badass person. It was cool when we called everybody, but that was such a pain in the ass to try to be like, “I’m going to give you a call. Would you want to be on the Christmas special?” You call and nobody answers. Most of the guests that were on were super receptive to it. They wanted to be on. It was a cool thing but I felt the fifteen minutes here or there. The biggest reason I wanted to do it was for you, Gabby, and some of the other people that have helped us. It's a moment for me to give you guys a gift, but we should do it Christmas in July or something. Maybe that's what this is.
We could go out to dinner or something.
That would be way better. Have a nice dinner or something.
It doesn't need to be fancy or anything.
What do you think, Gabby?
I agree. I like food. I’ll be there.
No microphones, no cameras.
We don't want an MTV crew following us around the whole night.
We like food. That's it. Did you see all this haze out here?
What haze? Purple haze?
Did you see the purple haze out here? It's incredible. That's smoke.
There's a fire going somewhere up in Northern Colorado.
Trinidad.
That sucks. That's Southern Colorado. You're my news person. When you come in 30 minutes before our guest typically shows up, you dump all the news on me. I then sound like I know what I’m talking about. I’m totally oblivious to it. I was like, “I think I saw there was a fire.”
Being a little bit tuned in is like drinking from a fire hose. I don't have my ear to the ground for fucking anything. There are people whose lives are dedicated to it, but I’m a little bit curious. It’s like you're being assaulted from every angle. There are submarines blowing up. There are fucking wildfires. There are all kinds of shit going on.
I don’t focus on shit unless it's super interesting to me. If a headline pops up, I totally ignore it. I only think about like, “When can I get a free moment in the day? When do I not have to podcast, do something in post-production, go to my regular job, take the kids around to whatever they're doing?” I then focus on when I can work out or r when I can go to jiu-jitsu.
That's a stable mentality. Chaos is interesting to me. When I see that, I’m like, “What the fuck? That's happening too. This is super interesting. There's so much going on. Was it like this before?”
Chaos is interesting to me. There's so much going on.
The Russia thing in the last couple of weeks has been interesting.
I think we got played.
I don't know what's going on because I don't want to read into it. Reading the Jack Carr books is enough for me. I feel that guy is very into it.
I literally finished it two hours ago.
The whole book?
The audiobook.
What do you think? It's In The Blood, right?
No, Only The Dead. I think that James Reese accelerates the global economic collapse. He didn't have quite the ring to it, so he went with Only The Dead. I finished it up and I’m like, “That's heavy. What the fuck did he do?
There are some good murder scenes in it. It was very Hollywood.
It's so lazy to say it's porn, but it is very titillating to hear about four dudes up in a car.
It describes every bit of it like which artery and where.
I feel like this one was lighter. Some of the others were dark.
This one I could see as being a feature film. This could be a Mission Impossible or Jason Bourne but better.
The other ones had family members dying and shit. They're all heavy but I think this one was lighter. It was good. Today is Thursday. I started it on Monday or Tuesday. It's all that I’ve been listening to. It was crazy. I was walking around with my headphones on for the past two days, ignoring my family. I knew I was coming in here. I want to make sure that I have it done in case you're trying to cram it in before the show.
I got to bring it up. What an incredible writer though.
He is fun.
When In The Blood came out, I hadn't listened to it until about a month ago. I listened to In The Blood and then Only The Dead after that. I got a full binge, two books in 30 to 40 hours.
When does he release it? How often is it?
I think it's once a year, isn't it?
Is it once a year? I was listening to the one while I was skiing.
I’m pretty sure it's once a year.
That's weird. I don't know how I managed to do that because I usually listen to it when they first come out. I totally enjoy this one. He stirred up a whole shit storm at the end. I love how he creates that. I feel like I can write about anything after this. Many different things could have happened from the little avalanche that he created.
Did you see Jocko Willink make that post where he is reading the letter?
No. You were telling me about it though.
It's so fucking good. It's epic. You have to watch that.
I obviously am an automotive fan. Jack squeezed in one of my favorite cars of all time into the end of it. He also talked about what a piece of shit it is. When you looked at it and saw that when you were a kid, you were like, “That's the fastest thing in the world. It has to be.”
I don't want to spoil it but he goes into the garage and there's a big selection of cars.
He picks the one that would obviously be fast from his childhood because Thomas Magnum drove one. He gets it out there and realizes that it doesn't accelerate. The brakes are bad. Everything sucks on it because it does. It's true.
Magnum PI also had a sweet-ass mustache and he had a dedicated pilot with an MH 60 Little Bird or Mini Bird, or whatever they call this.
He had great legs and short shorts.
Gabby, are you too young for Magnum PI? Do you remember?
Look up Magnum PI, Tom Selleck. She doesn't know who it is. We're so old.
I have a family member that looks exactly like Tom Selleck. He could be Tom Selleck’s twin brother. He's also had five wives. He would get mistaken for him.
What is that? What am I looking for?
Type in Tom Selleck there. In the opening credits, you notice that he does awesome burnout in the dirt. That's how underpowered that thing is.
Is it next to the pineapple patch or some shit?
It's throwing dirt and grass behind him. That's the only way that they could get the wheels to spin. To hear him talk about that in the book was pretty funny. I was like, “Don't pick that one. That's not going to get you where you need to go fast enough.”
That is hilarious. Fucking episode 131. What do you think is in it for our future? I don't know at this point. I’m trying to keep it up.
I’m shocked every time you call me up. Nobody knows but you're a one-man crew for the most part.
I got you and Gabby.
I know. You got all the connections. It's like, “Guess what?” I’m always shocked like, “What the fuck? That's crazy. What do you get?”
You're my phone a friend. You get the true emotion of how excited I am when these people contact me. I keep a straight face like the poker face. I’m like, “Sure. I guess I could maybe fit you in or whatever,” but in the back of my mind, I’m like, “Fuck, yeah." Not that I'm trying to hide anything because as soon as they get in here, I'm like, "You're a bucket list guest for me." Having Scott Parker in here is crazy. I was out of high school and starting my music career. When I come back here and have nothing to do, I would take Spot Operator calls. I have probably seen 30 or 40 of his games in person. The Avalanche were so badass.
That was cool. After we got off recording, I was talking to him. I grew up going to Philadelphia Flyers games. They were the notorious tough guys of the league.
I grew up going to Philadelphia Flyers games. They were the notorious tough guys of the league. A fight always broke out, and it was normal.
It was the Broad Street Bullies.
That was the '78 or whatever that was when they won the Cup. They were a pretty bruiser team. I got to watch them all through the '80s. My dad's best friend had season tickets. I've seen dozens of games. There was always a fight that broke out. It was always normal. I didn't want to go home and hurt anybody, which is the whole thing now. It's like, "We don't want to encourage anything like that." It was none of that. We went home and had a great time. We talked about, "He won that one," and then that was the end of it.
That's the thing with the hockey fight. The fans determine it in the back of their mind. No ref comes out here and raises somebody's name.
Sometimes you get to see a dude laid out and then you're like, “That happened.” It was awesome seeing him and I told him, “This is the jersey that I had from this guy and this guy.” They were obscure players so it was the B-side of a record. It was rad. It was cool talking to a hockey pro. I don't think I ever have.
I don't think I ever have either.
That was the only sport that I ever followed.
Not to mention he’s one of my favorite players. I had pond hockey growing up here in Evergreen. I think I brought that up in the show. That was the only thing to do but we didn't have a pro team. The Devils were my favorite pro team because they were originally a Colorado team, but then they got moved to New Jersey.
They were always Jersey, as far as I knew.
Gabby, you got to look up the history of this.
I’m going to sit with Jeremy on this one because I grew up watching hockey with my dad.
You got to remember me in the third grade. I was super into heavy metal, Marlboro cigarettes, and all that shit.
Let's look up the history.
The Devils are cool, or I used to think they were cool.
There's something about Missouri.
I could have sworn that they originated in Denver or something and then got moved to New Jersey. They originated in Kansas City.
That’s ’82. That makes sense because I was only 4 or 5 years old then. That's why I don't remember that shit as far as I can remember.
That's crazy. They were called the Rockies too. I totally spaced that out.
You're a Devil's fan, East Coast guy.
I’m an Avalanche fan. I fucking hate New Jersey. I’m not a fan.
Everyone hates New Jersey.
I take that back. I hate Jersey City and the city proper.
Jersey City is technically New York. It's the border, but I consider that part of New York.
I’ve spent some time in Newton, New Jersey, and that's living out here.
Where the fuck is that?
It's a farm country.
It's some of the most beautiful country in the world.
Newton, New Jersey is farm country. It’s one of the most beautiful countries in the world.
There's a reason why they call it the garden state.
The place is so weird.
Isn't it the garden state?
It is the garden state but the South part of Jersey that's closer to Philly is crackhead city. It's weird as hell.
You're talking Camden.
I know because that’s what's close to Philly and Jersey Shore.
You got to get up into the country. It's like New York City versus Upstate New York. It’s two totally different places.
I’m headed there next week.
To upstate?
Yeah. That'll be dope. I’m looking forward to that. We haven't been there in a while. I love getting out there. That plays the shit. It's the mountains, but it's totally different. All the erosion that you see, even the old farm homes and the trees are much older than here.
It feels like the heart of America.
It feels old.
That’s what I’m saying like between 1700 and 1800. There's some real history there.
It goes back hundreds of years.
The woodwork is fucking insane.
A lot of the architecture and everything is so beautiful on the East Coast. The mountains out here are what you trade off with. There's beauty all over the country. A lot of it can be found in the architecture back East. It is all in the natural landscape here because it's so dramatic. There's a little lesson on the East Coast versus the West for people with eyeballs.
The consensus is we're not doing the Christmas special then. We'll do something.
I don't know. It is fucking July. What are we doing? Making plans? We all know better than that.
I got you a gift because you've done this for me for free since day one and you've been there a bunch for me. There's no better way for me to repay you. This is something that I think you should put into your collection, and it's the next level of the handle and some of the work.
This is a cardiac spike.
It's beautiful.
That is cool. This one is definitely not TSA approved.
No.
I know that that's been a thing. That is wild. I look at these on almost every drop.
That's a thank you for you helping me always and being there for me. Ride and die since day one.
I’m not going to be Donny and try to turn this down. I will take this happily and keep this.
That was so funny. He's such a fucking nice guy. He’s like, “I can't do that, brother”
You definitely do it, Donny.
After the show, we went to lunch. He secretly went around and fucking paid for the entire bill. I like this shit on the end like the rock work and stuff. On your other blade, it is pretty much straight utility but this one has got a little bit more decorative.
This is wild.
I thought you'd like that one because it reminded me of your hardwood shifter knobs or whatever in the Porsche. It's got some wood grain.
This thing is right in my car. I know exactly where this is going in my car. I’m going to clip right in there. Don't fuck around with me.
Thank you.
It’s so unbelievable. I feel like we're a broken record. This comes up constantly for a good reason. This is outrageous.
I texted him after the Scott Parker episode. I was like, “Do you fucking know everyone, or are you setting me up?”
Thank you so much. That's so thoughtful.
I appreciate what you do.
I love hanging out.
I’ve tried to give you money. You're one of those guys, just like Donny does. You won't take it.
Having a reason to hang out is good enough for me.
Having a reason to hang out is good enough for me.
These are my favorite gifts to give because I enjoy the whole process of getting it, procuring it, and then putting my hands on it and giving it to somebody. That's super rad to me. I get as much enjoyment out of it as you guys do.
Isn't that something? I’m not a great gift giver, but sometimes the rare time that it hits, that's a nice feeling.
I was super happy with my Christmas gift from you in 2022. I got steaks and those little speakers. I use the shit out of those things. Those things are fucking awesome.
Guess what I did this morning? I jumped in that tank. Ice is expensive.
You got to use so much too. I bought a little thermometer that floats in it. Even when I put two huge ice blocks in there, it only cools it down to 10 degrees. You have to have a shit ton of ice.
Honestly, I have a harder time turning my water onto cold than getting into that water.
Do you mean it was easier to do the cold plunge than the shower?
It was easier to jump in cold water, as cold as I could get than to take a cold shower.
It’s easier to jump into cold water 100% than to take a cold shower.
The shower is torture.
I’m getting pelted with these cold things. I feel like that's torturous.
It’s weird. You got to turn around because the water only hits one side of your body unless you have one of those badass Mexico City showers.
You start all over again once you turn, then if you lift your arm up, it hits your armpit. I think it's way different when everything is the same thing. I don't know. It’s almost like it's more manageable.
Your body also builds a thermal barrier, so you're supposed to try to move around in there a little bit. If you sit perfectly still, the water is warm around your skin.
That makes sense. I was cheating the whole time.
Move your back a little bit while you're doing it.
When I move my back off the back. I was like, “That's uncomfortable.” I’ll do that.
It's funny. I don't know if I sent you this, but I picked a song that was four minutes long. Good luck finding a new song that's four minutes long. All are two minutes long. I’m like, “What the fuck is this? Everybody is making two minutes songs.”
It’s something new. Have you ever met me? I don't have a new thought, new song, new house, or new car. I don’t have anything new. Everything is old. I had to sit there.
Try Dragon Attack. It's 4 minutes and 19 seconds.
Is it intense?
It's Queen. It's not that intense.
You'd share that with me. You told me that. I was out on the deck and my daughter walked out. She's like, “What are you doing?” I was like, “Leave Daddy alone?” She's like, “Is that cold?” She looks at my phone and she's like, “You got two minutes left.” She sat there and I hit four. I said, “Give me another minute.” She reset it. I’ll have to move around. I don't pay attention. I do it because it sucks. When I was doing showers and stuff, I don't know if I was getting all the benefits from it and everything that everybody talks about. I did it because I would start my day off with a little bit of adversity, and it’s sucked. That's why I did it, then the rest of the day was better than that.
You feel good when you get out of it. It feels like you drink a couple of cups of coffee or something.
If you ask me about any of the science of it, I’m like, “I don't know.” I saw a bunch of dudes who are obviously better people than me that are doing this. I figured I must pick up peripherally something positive from it.
The one thing I won't do is share it on social media. Some of these people that I follow, it's like, “I’m so sick of watching you ice plunge. I couldn’t give a fuck about it.”
I’m the whitest man on the planet. I would not share my pasty white body with the internet. Are you kidding me? There are family beach pictures and I gather kids around me to cover up. You can see through my legs. I’m like, “No. Get closer. Let's tighten this picture up a little bit before I break the camera.”
They say that one of the best ways to do it is to get in for 2 minutes and then get out for 30 seconds and get back in. You want to get yourself to where you almost shiver to reap the full benefits of it. I've read into some of the science behind it, but who knows?
You send me stuff and I’m like, “I’ll save this.” I have all this stuff saved and I’ve never listened to it. I was like, “You’re fucking loser. Listen to this. Listen to the important stuff.” Instead, I’m like, “There's a submarine at the bottom of the ocean.” I could be learning about how brown fat burns differently than white fat.
The best part about it is we key in on different news. I keep up with the UFC and that type of news. Speaking of that, have you heard anything about Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg?
This is the most idiocracy shit.
I can't wait to watch this. I’m fucking over it.
You flick the switch. It's like, “Can things get dumber.”
Yes, they can. We're in America. The submarine was about the lowest point.
What is the submarine, the Titanic thing?
I get it. I've been America's stupid guy before. The whole planet is dumb. Everybody is doing shit wrong. There's nobody who you can name a place that you can go, "They got it nailed." I'm past the "America is so dumb" shit. We do some dumb stuff.
We're not dumb.
I don't know. There's a lot of shit I can't probably fucking say.
Why?
It’s because it is going to go on the internet.
Get us some more hate mail, Jeremy.
The sub thing is some guy was doing guided tours in a submarine down to the Titanic. Everybody has heard about this shit. It’s got more news coverage than fucking anything that was happening around the globe at the highest point of any controversial news that was happening. It was insane. The media stepped on the gas with these billionaires who got on a submarine. The submarine was a size of a minivan and they were all sitting cross-legged going down.
The submarine was 1,500 feet or something.
No. It was like 2 or 3 miles deep.
It was the deepest that they'd ever gone in a submarine. Also, the fact that they said the submarine was total bullshit. The shit was broken. It was not legitimate at all. You could look at it and be like, “What child constructed this thing?”
It had a Logitech controller.
I heard there was tape keeping shit together.
Historically, all of them have been this wild steel in titanium shit, and this was carbon fiber. You know what happens when carbon fiber fails. It's like splinters. It’s catastrophic. There's no like, “This thing is making a weird noise. Let's go up.” Carbon fiber goes crack and it fails.
The next thing you know, you're full of water.
You're so deep that you explode.
They did. They exploded. It was days. They sat down there and waited to explode.
I think it happened on the way down and they dragged the story on because it got such traction. It was all bullshit. That was my point.
Here's my thing. You can cut this out of the podcast if it's too much. I honestly think the whole thing was set up. You're going to tell me 4 or 5 fucking millionaires, CEOs, or whatever the hell it is. I did not look anything up. I avoided this at all costs. The first headline I saw, I was like, “This is so fucking set up.” I’m telling you, next fucking week and month, there's going to be some World War III shit happening because they were like, “Let's put some CEO, millionaire, billionaire people in some dumb ass ship. They're going to go down and see the Titanic, throw a hole this big, and shits are duct-taped." They're like, "Let's do it. Let's get publicity." I honestly think the whole thing is fucking set up. It probably exploded in a day.
I think they fake their deaths.
That's what I think too. The whole thing is fucking fake. Some other shit is going on. They dragged the story out for a week, keeping everyone in tune with the news. There is no way that should happen. Everyone I’ve been talked to, they’re like, “Did you see this?” I’m like, “Do you believe this shit right now?” A bunch of people went in this submarine like, “Let's go down on the deep part of the ocean.” Are you fucking kidding me?
Each one of those guys allegedly paid $250,000 to go down there. You're a billionaire. I don't think people understand how much $1 billion is. If you're a multi-billionaire, that's mind-wracking. You can't even comprehend how much money that is. Worst case, you get on the hotline to James Cameron, who's got a dope sub. He's got a Lexus. This guy had fabbed up and is sending them down there. They're like, "We're going to put tens of billions of dollars into this thing and they're going to go down," versus, "James, how about the next time you go down there, I make a donation to your fund for $5 million." What's that? You're going down there with James Cameron to see The Titanic?
James Cameron has an actual sub.
That guy is fucking rich. He goes on cruises around the Titanic all the time. It's insane.
The only way they're going to get publicity about this is that they had billion, million, trillion, whatever the hell they are. They had to have people with some status go down.
Either that or a family member sunk it.
I’m saying if it was five random people, no one would care so they were like, “Let's set this shit up.”
It's still an interesting story, I guess. You can't tell me that that's exactly what happened. “They heard banging.” Shut up. They didn't.
You get in that tiny thing and you're ready to go down. You probably own cars, boats, or helicopters. You know what's high-tech and what's safe.
There's no way that billionaire was getting in there and saw Logitech remote and was like. “Right on, let's go.” Anyway, I’m not going to get into all the political news that happened. All the biggest shit in the world was happening and they're like, “Retards, look at this. We're hanging a sub in front of your face.” I hate that they took that word from me. They swing this little thing in front of the public on the news. It's an interesting thing for people who were adventurous.
I didn't give one fuck about it. The only thing I saw was some meme that there was one girl on there and it was bad. It was like, “How would you like to be the something-something.”
If you're sitting on the bottom of the ocean? That's terrible. I don't advocate for that kind of humor.
How do you get away with that?
It’s terrible. Anyway, that happened. Some of the biggest testimonies and people getting off with horrible shit were happening. Meanwhile, everybody was captivated by the submarine story. It's like, "This sucks." I don't know. Maybe we are. I feel like it's such a global society now that we're all sucked into this idiocy.
Conspiracy Theory: Everybody was captivated by the submarine story. It feels like we’re in such a global society now that we're all sucked into this idiocy.
That's why I didn't get sucked into it. I was like, "There's no way. This is actually what happened. You're going to care about a bunch of CEO men going to the bottom of the ocean. Are you kidding?"
It was so funny because I knew everything that was happening. I had the internet, and at the same time, I’d be at home with my wife laughing and going, "There's so much other stuff going on. Look at what they're doing. They've got everybody sucked into it.” You could not pay attention to it. I was paying attention to everything else that was going on that was big and serious.
The first time I felt it was with the alien release. They're not captivating.
They're not buying the alien stuff.
It reminds me of the Fisher Price sub. When I saw a photo of it, it looks the Fisher Price fucking submarine.
When they were putting the sci-up together, they didn't go, “George, make it look like the Fisher Price sub. Make the rendering look like the Fisher Price sub.”
It's also The Beatles sub. Isn't it? The Yellow Submarine was shaped like that. It was a cartoon submarine. Didn't they make a sub?
There's a whole other added layer. Build some nostalgia in it to get them to be convinced like, "This looks safe and promising. Get in."
They'll definitely live in the Yellow Submarine. They couldn't die in The Beatles sub. They're going to surface any minute.
I want to see Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk in this case and fight.
I don't know about this. I need to be updated on this one.
I don't know how this all started, but Dana White, the president of the UFC, has been talking like, “Mark Zuckerberg is a fan of the UFC.” I think that Elon Musk dibbled dabbles. I don't even know that he gives a fuck, but he hangs out with Rogan. He's got to be somewhat integrated with it a little bit, I would think. I don't know that he's ever been to one. I know that Zuckerberg has, and I know that Zuckerberg cheerings jiu-jitsu from listening to a couple of podcasts or something like that. They talk about him on the UFC occasionally because he's been there or whatever. I don't know exactly what's happening but it sounds like they're going to fucking have some exhibition cage fight.
I need to be moved to something.
I want the humor out of it. All these guys have billions of dollars. Maybe they'll get some legitimate training.
It's white privilege drama. More things we're going to get sucked into. Why do we care?
What I need is for the people who are running everything, I want them to be serious.
This is not a serious thing. He sees the dollar signs in his eyes.
How many Lamborghini do you need?
I’m going to buy it.
Do you think I'm not going to watch it? It's like, "Why are you going to suck me into this? I'm not interested. Fucking find a watch but I'm not going to pay for it." These are serious players. This is part of the global economy. This is like, "You have an electric car company. You've got all the information on everybody on the planet. Can we not be serious? Can we act like we're serious people here? Are we going to bite each other? What the fuck are we doing here?"
It's Celebrity Death Match. Do you remember that show?
That's what I’m saying. You swan diving into idiocracy. I wouldn't even say that it's graceful.
We are you swan-diving into idiocracy, and it’s not even graceful.
Those two fighting is not going to be graceful.
What do they need to fight about? You all have all the money. Chill out.
It’s not that they hate each other. A lot of these fighters don't hate each other. It's a thing. It's a job.
It's a passion. I don't think it's a job. If they were doing it for the money, the time that they sacrifice, they have to go through it. My passion right now is podcasting. I enjoy doing this.
I think it's a giant fuck-you to the dudes who commit their lives who are trash men or grinding and then going and training all day to fight and pouring their heart out to do it. I’m talking about a giant fuck-you to the guys who grind at a regular gig and train every day in to hope to get a shot at the show and fight their hearts out. Who steps in? A couple of billionaires are going to fight each other.
This all started with Barstool.
Of course but watch. It'll be one of the highest-grossing fights if they somehow get these two idiots to fight each other.
I wouldn't call them idiots. This might be the dumbest thing they've ever done. That's why I like it.
I should rephrase that. These two assholes, not idiots. How is that? These two assholes get together and make $1 billion on a pay-per-view.
I hear you, Jeremy.
They don't belong there.
I agree with you on that.
They don't have any business being in there and making money off of it.
It's only going to be entertaining one time.
I don't know. What if you got weird if you were able to get Danny DeVito to fight somebody like the Celebrity Death Match?
This is so funny. I don't know if it was before Celebrity Death Match, but I used to try to set it up with my coworkers. I’ve always been in a managerial position as a roadie, whatever that is. I had all road guys and I would set up matchups like, “Wouldn't it be awesome to watch these two guys fight?” It was always a big joke. I was never serious.
I’ve been in that position before. That had never even occurred to me.
You pick out people that are evenly mashed. There are some 70-year-old dudes that I toured. I toured with the Eagles for a little bit. I was dealing with some 70 and 80-year-old guys that had been on the road that long. I was like, “I want to see those two guys fight.” It was more of a comedy thing. That's all coming back to me where I’m getting that enjoyment.
We've unlocked another part of Bobby's brain and I’m scared.
I did not know that this part existed. Old roadie, you fight young roadie. It's hilarious.
We’ll move on from there. I’m going to watch it. I’m going to be thoroughly entertained.
I’m going to be watching it with you.
I think that everything else leading up to this has been stupid because you have YouTubers fighting each other. You have small people fighting each other. You have all this crazy shit, except for Hasbulla. I want to see Hasbulla fight.
I’ve seen that guy. If you find another dude that size, there's going to be a throwdown.
I like his mentality. He's a savage. I want to see him fight Zuckerberg.
Do I not have enough testosterone to understand? Why do you want to see random ass people fight? I don't give a fuck if people fight each other.
You're not supposed to.
Why do I care if random ass people fight each other?
It turned into a whole thing where people are making serious money. I think it's because of the Barstool sports. They own half of the podcast game. They have all these people on and podcast hosts and celebrities.
This is dude drama.
That's what I was trying to get at. I don't understand it.
They're not catering to you. I don't mean that in a snarky way. That's legit. That's not what they're trying to do. They're not trying to go, “Let's get every segment of the population interested in this.” They're trying to war in.
They are though because they're taking influencers from Instagram. They're taking Instagram supermodels and making them fight. It's a celebrity mismatch type of shit. There's no way that these people would stand a chance in a professional fight.
I’m talking about the audience. It's always going to be dudes.
It reminds me of backyard wrestling or WWE because there's this trash talk there. Not that there's not in the UFC. It's ironic that the UFC is now owned by the WWF, WWE, or whatever it is now. They purchased them. It's funny. I’ve seen more shit-talking in this.
Is that Vince McMahon? I almost said Ed McMahon, Johnny Carson's sidekick. That's how old I am.
I guess that guy in real life was the biggest asshole.
Ed McMahon? Really?
Yeah. That's what I heard. When he was on camera, he was the nicest guy in the world, but as soon as the camera would go off, he would lose his shit. He fucking punched in turn.
The '70s and '80s were a weird time. Those dudes were getting live drinking. Do you ever see him? They used to walk out with cocktails. They're ripped shit.
Did Johnny Carson drink on camera?
I don't know if he did, but I guess and I’m sure Ed did.
Gabby, you got to Google this. I got to know. Did Johnny Carson drink on the show?
Johnny never smokes on camera, but he smokes in between commercial breaks. He would be burning one. There were a couple of times when he was caught putting his ashtray and a cigarette down when they were going live and blowing a breath full of smoke out behind him. Johnny takes a sip out of Dean Martin's drink. How cool is that?
Sean Penn and Madonna were married. No fucking way.
Another little spoiler alert. My buddy Brandon, who's coming through town, we may record with him. He was Madonna's personal driver for probably 6 to 8 years.
That was either the coolest job or the biggest nightmare.
He's got some fucking stories.
I can't even imagine. That's wild. I wonder if she's alive. Have you seen photos of her? She's in the hospital.
Really?
She's intubated.
What happened?
We started with Teton and Yellowstone and then the submarines and the celebrity. It's like TMZ.
She got rushed to the hospital on Saturday.
What happens? Let's find out. Google it.
Sorry, Gabby. We're making you work hard tonight.
I love it.
What does it say?
Serious bacterial infection.
I’ve had one of those. I got it from jiu-jitsu. It's called a staph infection.
That's the thing. When you say that, you're covering so many bases with that, aren't you?
Maybe she was in the submarine.
It's affecting the digestive system. She got worms. Is that what it is?
A bunch of billionaires might have pulled the shoot and faked their deaths. What if all these elites are disappearing?
Maybe they found out that aliens are real and they're going to another planet.
I like where you're going, but I don't know if that's it.
Maybe it's an elitist thing. If you have X amount of money, the aliens will accept you or something. You could know the truth.
You might not be far off. I don't think that they're aliens. I think they're demons.
We're losing people.
It might be a new angle for them.
I don't think they're real. I think it's a secret military thing. We didn't know about the stealth bomber until it was twenty fucking years old.
That can be totally true.
Think about how far technology has advanced. Look at some of the aircraft that we have now like the Raptor or the F-35s. That is old fucking news. If you've ever seen one of those things fly in person, it is fucking mind-boggling.
Think about how far technology has advanced. You just have to look at some of the aircraft that we have today. If you've ever seen one of those things fly in person, it is mind-boggling.
I saw one at the air show in Milwaukee in 2022, and it did shit that didn't make sense.
It almost looks like it's hovering like a spaceship or something, and then all of a sudden, it'll take off. It's doing Mach 1 or whatever in a matter of seconds.
I was at the airport. We did the strike for that show.
Was it an Air Force show?
No. I was doing something at an arena the same weekend that they were doing an air show. I was doing a separate gig, but it was cool because while we were doing the gig, you walk 20 feet that way and you've got a perfect view of watching the Blue Angels in F-35s.
Is that the practice area?
They were practicing for an air show that was happening that weekend, and then the gig was happening that weekend. We had the air show even though we weren't there for the air show. I watched them doing all these maneuvers and everything. Anyway, I was flying out and saw the whole F-35 team. They had pelican cases and shit that they were throwing onto the United baggage collector or whatever.
I don't know if it was the pilot or not, but I’m looking at all of them and I’m like, “What do you guys know?” The knowledge that's sitting between these seven people that I’m watching loading their bags onto this United flight. I’d love to pick their brain for 30 minutes and suss them out a little bit like, “I’ll fill you out.” They were probably totally lying to me. They're like, “It's a fast jet.” I’m like, “Thanks. Have a nice flight.”
That's what I think it is. I think it's military technology. I’m also not convinced that we're the only thing alone in this fucking universe.
That was twenty years ago. That's what I used to be. I was like, “We're the little pill dot. There are a lot of things out there. Time is infinity and it’s constantly expanding.” It's all blackness. There was a big boom. I’m like, “This doesn't make sense.” What's Musk's thing? The SpaceX. Have you seen one of those things land? It doesn't look like a little bit off. They all look a little bit off.
I’m ready to pick your brain. What do you mean off? What's going on?
It doesn't look natural. It's too perfect.
It's going out, landing on a different planet.
They don’t land on other planets. They launch satellites and land in the ocean. When they land in the ocean, this is all happening too perfectly. They're like, “Make one explode.”
They land on the launchpad, don't they?
It’s a launchpad that's floating in the ocean. They don't land on land. They have these barges that they land on. It's in the ocean, but it's close. It's off the coast. This all looks too perfect and it's not dirty. Maybe it's because of the quality of the camera. I don't know but I’m like, “I think I might be being fucked with these things.”
I’ll tell you what's a badass documentary on Netflix. You'll have to look it up. It's on SpaceX. They took five ordinary people. One was a doctor.
They all had him stressed up like Spaceballs.
They went to space and orbited further than astronauts had around the Earth.
That's the thing. He's trolling us. He dressed them up like Spaceballs. What's his name? It's all a movie. I feel like I’m being trolled. It's a Mel Brooks movie.
Everything is a conspiracy in this episode.
When I saw him march those dudes out, I was on a gig.
Let's be fair. Was it 3 guys and 2 ladies?
They're all guys. When I saw them walk out, I was watching the livestream because it was the biggest thing in the world. I grabbed my buddy and went, “I think he's fucking with us.” It’s my buddy Kyle. He's awesome. He gets it and I’m like, “Don't they look like the guys from Spaceballs?” He goes, “Holy shit. He's fucking with everyone.”
It's never five random people.
They were random people, but they were ordinary people that had careers and that sort of thing. One of them was an actual pilot billionaire. One was a school teacher. The other one was an artist, I think, and a doctor.
Everyone is an artist.
I’m an artist.
I know. Why weren't we on? I draw.
It’s because they know we'd figure it out.
That's what it is. I like to cut it like Gabby’s jib. She's pretty curious. This is good. I didn't know this about her.
I’m too curious for my age. That's the problem.
How old are you?
I’m 25.
You're going to be a full conspiracy by 30. It's going to be awesome.
I’ll start my own podcast.
Would you have me on?
This is Jeremy 25 years ago.
I’ll have long gray hair and the Charlie Day strings tying everything together behind me.
I told Jeremy this a while back. I want him to start his own podcast. He can use the fucking studio and everything and it's called The Salty Cast.
I know but here's the thing. I’m not even salty anymore. I’m getting sweeter. I’d have to work on the name because I’m not even angry anymore. It used to be pure anger. Now I’m seeing the comedy and everything and it’s like, “That's hilarious. I can't believe they're delivering this.” Am I unhappy? Sure. I’m like, “It's hilarious that they're making me this upset because they did that.”
I’m happy because I don't watch any of this shit.
Jeremy and I are going to start a new podcast called Cults and Conspiracies.
That's too on the nose.
I love cults because that shit is all conspiracy in itself too because it's so wild. The shit that goes on.
Cults are wild.
I love following that stuff.
What's the craziest one? Do you listen to a podcast? How do you get the information? In the books?
I listen to podcasts and documentaries. You want to cut this out, but a lot of the dance world is a fucking cult straight up.
I’m intrigued. How could you tell me that I don't want to hear this?
Don't tell me this now because my daughter is coming.
I know. That's why I was like, “Maybe cut it out.”
Give me that cardiac spike. I got to fly back to the East Coast.
This is good information because now you know.
As long as you know but it is a lot of brainwashing. You can see it.
It's probably military mentality. The controlling of your body, mind, life, and everything. It separates you. You've seen it in your family and your life. If you want to do this, you can only be involved in this, and that's it. You have to look this way, act this way, dress this way, and be this way. It separates you from, "Do you want to be a professional dancer? You have to give up this and this. You got to give us this much money to do this."
It sounds like Scientology.
It's the same in almost everything.
Everything is a cult in its own way if there's a different level of danger scale. This is what I’ve learned from the podcast.
Everything is a cult in its own way. There are just different levels of danger.
It's also money-making. In Little League soccer, it's like that. If your kid starts to play competitive soccer, you end up traveling the country and spending thousands of dollars for them to play competitively. We're talking a season. It's $3,000 to $4,000 a season.
Everything is a cult in its own little way. That's in the less dangerous cult because you're not going to get harmed. You go to that deep shit where I’m fighting for my life. That's the scale that you're at.
It’s like Zuckerberg and Elon Musk in the UFC. They've been called up.
Talk about a cult. We finished that book. Dudes who are running shit are running the world. The dirt that they must have on one another or the underlings, there are layers. All the dirt that they have on the guys who are actually doing all the dirty work to make them operate, and then there are the guys up here who are like, “We do whatever the fuck we want.” All the guys, you see their faces, and you're like, “What a scumbag. How could he even say that in public?” They’re like, “That guy is totally compromised, obviously.” How could you say that on camera?
That's the issue. They never own up to what they actually did. He’s like, “I never did that.” It's like, “We’ve got twenty people saying what you did.”
Isn't that the fucking truth? Nobody owns up the shit anymore. I think Trump did though. He owned up to some shit.
He's also hiding so much shit.
He used to say it all in Stern. I can't believe that the people used evidence. They were like, “Did you hear what he said about his daughter?” It's like, “He said it on Stern 25 years ago. It was a fucking joke.” They're like, “Was he actually joking?” It's like, “It's fucking Howard Stern.” You then got a hard drive or a treasure trove of secretive shit dropped in front of you, and people go, “I don't know. That might be disinformation. I’m going to turn to the experts on this one.”
It's polar opposites of their reactions.
It's totally insane. It's disingenuous.
Shout out to Taboo Social Club. I like these things. This is an addiction.
That is delicious.
We’re not smoking weed and not getting high. Let's get the fuck off of politics.
That wasn't even political. These are things that are happening.
That's something that we don't talk about on this show very often. These episodes are always a reality check for you.
Uncomfortable episodes are always a reality check for you.
It's uncomfortable if you want it to be uncomfortable.
I feel like on this show, we showcase individuals. It's the mountainside we're promoting, conservation, things that I’m passionate about, stewardship, and protecting our national parks. All that stuff is super important to me. I think showcasing individuals and how they do it the right way and leave no trace. Actual individuals have full-on other professional careers, but they also choose to do this as a hobby, a pastime, or a post-career.
I’m trying to think of how I do that.
How would you do it? You'd do it salty as fuck. That's how you can do it.
I am a sweet guy.
I love it. That's why I love doing these ones with you because it's so different. The coolest part about having all these individuals on is having different perspectives on shit. I don't agree with all of it. I agree with most of it. I can always see somebody else's side.
There's something very safe in being a civilian. You're like, “I don't give a fuck. I don't care what anybody thinks. These are my ideas.” Am I an expert? No. Is this fact? No. I feel like a lot of fighters are like this. Not that I’m equating myself to being one of those dudes, but they don't give a fuck. When you have a brand that you're protecting, you're a senator or one of those dudes, sometimes they're like, “We can't quite get into that.”
That was a fastball too. That was an unexpected guest. I asked for a biologist and I got a senator. He was cool though.
When you're a civilian, it's like, “Am I going to have to sell my basketball team?” No.
I don't think a senator will talk to me, of all people. It’s fucking hilarious.
What I'm saying is there's a certain freedom in being a regular dude. I don't have the fortune behind me that I'm going to get robbed from me if I say the wrong thing. There's a little bit of safety in that. If I sit there and say, “I don't think there are aliens. I think they might be coming from a different dimension.” They're not going to go, “Yank your show.” They're not going to do that.
That's the best thing about podcasts too. Everything is independent. We don't have anybody here telling us what to do, although we've had some weirdest things. Spotify took one of our episodes down. I’ve gotten a few letters from the government saying we need to either redact shit or take the episode down. That's why there are a couple of missing episodes.
I would expect one of those to come after the truth that I’ve spilled today. You're going to get a letter from the government, buddy.
You know way too much. Take it down.
I’m in an argument with Spotify to figure out why they pulled one of our episodes down. It’s 100% completely down but it shows on all other platforms like Apple.
Are you able to say who it was?
I’m not going to say it right now because I don't want it to be a big deal, but it sucks. It's a pain in the ass. It's probably for something that I said.
Can they cut something out that you said?
I don't know. It could be a copyright thing. If we had music playing in the background, which can be dumb shit.
In which case, it would be my fault.
That's what happens.
They’re trying to take me down. It's a conspiracy. That's why I’m always very careful when I bring up bands or anything like that. On Instagram and stuff, you can get away with it. Anything on YouTube, you get a copyright infringement.
Even mentioning the name of a band?
No. If you play their music, even if it's playing in the background, it'll somehow pick it up.
I almost stepped in. I know two dudes. My best friend Brownie has toured with a lot of significant people. In regular conversation, he'll never mention it. Even when people are like, “It sounds like you're in a cool industry. What have you done?” He’s like, “I’m a lighting guy.” That's the end of it. If they ask me that and I had his history, I’d be like, “You wouldn't even fucking believe it.” I saw that Scott asked you. He's like, “Who have you been out with?” You're like, “I grew up here and I wanted to get out of here. I went to California and I ended up hooking up with a lot of big names. Anyway, you're a hockey player.” I was like, “What the fuck? There's an entire history.”
Here's the fucking problem. With our industry and the industry that I’m in, there are a ton of guys in the industry that I don't always get along with. They're the guys that are very proud of what they've done. They let everybody know about it, but they name-drop like a motherfucker. That's the last thing I want to do. If somebody outright asked me, “Who have you worked for?” I’ll name off some names. I’ll say, “I started in punk rock. I work for this, this, and this. As my career progressed, I worked for someone.” I’ll blanket it. I’ll be like, “Some rap stars or some divas.” I still don't name-drop.
That person who was fishing for that information pulled the hook up and got nothing.
If they're super interested, they start grilling me with questions like, “What rap stars? Did you ever work for?”
In 1 or 2 names, let them know, “This is the caliber of things,” and answer their question. You don't need to give them your Wikipedia.
You don't need to give people your Wikipedia if they’re trying to fish for information.
The problem is I can't go down the list because there are some that I've totally fucking forgotten. I'll have buddies hit me up and they're like, "Do you remember on the fucking NERD tour where you were the stage manager of Common Sense?" I'm like, "Fuck, I was." You work your fucking ass off. Hours on end. You always remember the big ones or the ones that you were on for years, but you'll pop off and do this little leg of a tour and it's three months or something like that. These bands are worth it, not those ones that I dropped. They weren't. They're fucking awesome.
Did you do stuff with fucking NERD? He seems like a total pain in the ass.
He's all right. He paid me greatly. He's an artist.
He comes off as an artist. I know that time that you must have been touring what a cool time in music history.
I hated that tour. As much as I love Common Sense, that's the wild thing. The rappers that I’ve worked for is fucking corny. Dave Matthews is one of the corniest people in the world, but he's one of the nicest people to sit down and have a conversation with.
I’m looking at it from a guy with an iTunes guy. I’m talking about from his catalog.
I’ll tell you how corny he was. I played a bouncer at the beginning of the show. I got paid an extra. It was a good chunk of money if you do it every night. The whole set was a club scene. I had to dress up in a suit before the show started, and the show would start with my back to the crowd.
I thought that you were talking about an after-party.
No. This is the star of the fucking show. I’m letting the band members in. I let the DJ and the bass player in. There's this whole overdub track where I’m sitting there acting. I never took acting gigs but I’ve been in some spinal tap moments or whatever. I actually had a great time with it because Common was so cool. That was the only reason that I did it. He's like, “I want you to do it.” He's totally an actor. The opening of the show was an acting scene. The show would start with all the house lights out and everything, and then they would get a silhouette of me with my back. They thought it was Common standing there.
I was the biggest disappointment of the night. The crowd would start cheering and then they would see my white bald head, and you could hear the size. There was a whole skit where I had to fight him and he'd kick my ass. There were a couple of nights where I wouldn't let him go to his spot or whatever. I think it was the last stop of the tour. We hired a small person to stand in my position. I would do shit like put a Post-it on the front of my shirt that said something. Common could not keep a straight face when he would come out. If you gave him any joke, he could not keep his straight face. He was a great artist to work for.
I’m talking as a guy again with an iTunes account, not somebody who encountered him or anything. It's that consumer mentality. I have no idea.
I hate name-dropping. I don't mind telling little tidbits here and there.
Again, you don't need to do Wikipedia, but this is you dealing with it. I did this. I fucking just want.
Unlike you, you've done fucking gigs for Trump. You've done gigs for all kinds of crazy shit like the Pope. You've done some big ass events.
The biggest ones were the Pope, Biden, and then Trump.
You did Biden too?
Yeah. He flew in to join Obama at Philadelphia Airport. We did that one. It's the fucking same room as the Pope. Who's the biggest celebrity on the planet?
Probably the Pope.
I think. That was a big one.
Was it John Paul?
No. Pope Francis.
I don’t know anything about churches, especially the Catholic church. No offense to all you Catholic readers out there. We'll have to talk.
It was cool. We set up this gig over the two days with bulletproof glass everywhere. They shut down I-95 from the airport. He did a thing at a prison in North Philadelphia. We did that, and then we set up the hangar where he was doing a mass at. I was there for the mass, and then Biden flew in. He got out, chatted with the Pope, jumped on Air Force 2, and split. It was all in one day. The appearance happened over two days but my thing happened over one day. I was at one place down at the other, and it's 12 miles apart from one another. I was at this one gig, saw it happen, and had to jump in the car and drive down to the other one. They had all the exits on I-95 stopped. You couldn't fucking do anything. You couldn't get on or off except where the Pope gets on.
Do you guys have a special pass or something?
We didn't have a pass? They had everything shut down so that anyone who was driving there had to have gotten on at these two spots. They were cool. I’m doing 100 miles an hour and I’m passing state troopers. I’m like, “This is fucking awesome.” These guys can't leave their posts. Nobody is going to pull me over for speeding. This is amazing.
Have you ever been in a police escort?
No. Have you?
It's the shit. I’ve been in a bunch of them. It's fucking rad. I’m going to New York City for a radio show or something. I was taking a helicopter in and landing on a pier.
I was bragging about driving my Subaru 100 miles an hour and then you said, “I took a helicopter.”
This is a road car too. I pictured you guys in a van or something.
No, I was in my private car. I was in my family Truckster Subaru doing 100 miles an hour.
I’m picturing a secret service driving you guys to this thing or something.
No. My buddy Dave called me up. He's like, “Are you done up there?” I’m like, “Yeah.” He goes, “Can you come down to the airport?” I went, “Yeah.” He goes, “Don't be late. I’ll see you in a few.” I’m like, “I could speed.” I was not in a convoy.
That's pretty badass. You don't stop for anything.
It was so funny because I felt like I had that thing around me when I was in a legacy. Meanwhile, you've been there with the dudes with machine guns and motorcycles behind you.
Maybe in Mexico. We left Mexico City. I was working for The Killers and we left on a bus. I think it was a charter bus. I don't know if it was a tour bus, but we had to get to our hotel from the stadium and they set attendance records in Mexico City. It was insane. We did 2 or 3 shows there. They had to weld the barricade together. They hired the Mexican Federales and the police. It was the biggest ordeal I've ever seen. We had two buses. I'm pretty sure there were aircraft involved and Federales with machine guns mounted on the back of their fucking Toyota trucks or whatever.
I hope to God that your kids have recorded it. I like to go back and look at my invoices that I've done, to sit there by kids for how long I’ve been away. I’m on corporate shows. It's not that I can sit there and be like, “I was actually in Mexico with The Killers.” It's not cool.
It is cool.
You're making money, but I’m going through all this stuff and I’m like, “Look at all those weeks that I was away doing bullshit,” where you can be like, “There was a guy on a dirt bike who drove past us.” It’s awesome stories and stuff.
I do need to archive that stuff. I tell them little tidbits but they get the most of the information because they're curious. They don't quite understand what I do for work.
My dad told me twelve good Vietnam stories. I remember four of them. I’m like, “I wish I remembered those.”
My dad told me twelve really good Vietnam stories, and I remember only four of them.
Could you tell them here? Let's archive them right now. That's up to you. We can do it on the next one.
I’d have to jog my stupid memory. It's not that it's secret, emotional, or anything. He told me stuff that I was like, “That's fucking crazy.” He told me about the time that he was wounded and everything. That's wild. I have loved to be able to sit there and go play and hear it from the horse's mouth. I can give secondhand stories.
You’re like, “This is something that has made me realize.”
When your dad literally circled the world fifteen times, write that shit down. That'd be a bummer not to.
I would like to go back. As I said, I’ve done so much that I forget shit. That was the purpose of the other show. It was to have some of those old roadie buddies on. They probably tell a bunch of stories that I don't want to be public. That could be a double-edged sword. I never killed anybody or anything.
That doesn't matter. It's like, “This is what dad did.”
To the point that I’ve actually started a little family private where we have these recorded conversations, but it's in a private setting and the kids enjoy being on the mic and saying stuff. It made me think, “I need to be doing this with my older family members so I can get some of the history out of them.” To sit down and interview your grandfather, how awesome would that be? Not interview, but have a conversation like this.
I feel like when you put on the headphones and the microphone, the IQ goes up or something. I’m not a smart guy. I stumble on my words all the time still. I could give a fuck now. That shit used to bother me. Now I keep rolling with it. Before, I used to sink a little bit. It would take me a few minutes to come back. I’m like, “I fucked that up.” I was so hard on myself. Now that I’ve gotten more comfortable with it, I need to do that with other family members. I’m thinking about all my family members like my cousins and uncles because they have stories.
I have someone very close to me whose grandmother was totally available and had one of the most amazing stories to tell. She started fading. We visited all the time. It wasn't that we were like, “We got to get over there sometime.” We were around her all the time, and every time that we left, we'd walk away with, “What a life.” All we have to do is turn our phone on and freaking press record. It doesn't have to have a microphone.
People record podcasts from their phones. There's an app called Anchor.
This was decades ago but recording existed. It wasn't high quality or anything. I was like, “Remind me the next time to hit record while you guys are talking.” It wasn't personal stuff or anything. It was a fun banner, and we never did. We talk about it all the time. Wouldn't it be great to share with the kids what she was saying to us in the last three months of her life? We squandered it. We didn't take advantage of the technology.
It's such a great way to archive everything.
It was literally press two buttons and we never thought to do it because we come from a non-digital county.
Did any of your teachers in elementary school ever make you record anything? Remember, it was the size of a book, but it was a cassette recorder. They would hand them to you and you would either have to read out loud into it. Maybe it was a speech class or something, but they made us record a skit or a show. I have the original tape. It's like the very first podcast. It’s the original from third grade or some shit.
Nobody ever made me do that. I wish they did. I wasn't an adorable kid. That would've been awesome to have an archive. I have shitty Polaroids.
It reminds me of having my five-year-old sit across from me. To have her in the studio and me and her is fucking awesome. It's one of the coolest things. You should do it with your kids. You should bring them down here sometime.
I know. My one-year-old ran circles around me.
With conspiracies?
No, in general. I’m like, “You're smart, aren't you?”
We've been at it a little while here, so let's go ahead and wrap it up. This has been awesome.
Gabby, you've been quiet over there. What do you have your eyes on? I need to know where your head's at in Gabby land during the day. Aside from work, what's on your radar? I enjoy knowing that she and I are on the same level.
You guys are never here at the same time. I didn't realize that. This is fun, except for the Christmas party. That was the first time you guys met.
It was before that.
We met in passing, but that was the first time we sat down.
It's fun knowing that I’ve got a kindred spirit.
When I hired you to babysit some guest kid, that was awesome. He was a cool kid, actually.
He was fun. He was like, “I had the best time.” I was like, “Really? I’m not that cool.” You guys have some good stories and I’m like, “Maybe one day I’ll have some cool stories.”
I bet you do. You've had a crazy dance career.
That's true. I think for my age, I have enough stories, but there's more to come.
My story is still growing. Remember that time, we had Scott Parker and he told us about kicking that dude's ass.
I cannot believe it.
I talk to him about fighting Bob Probert or something like that so badly. This is so badass. Thank you to you because you've been a supporter since day one. Gabby, thank you for being here. I fucking love you guys. It wouldn't be the same without you guys.
This is the best dude.
It's awesome.
Thank you for this.
Don’t kill anybody with it.
I hope I need to break a window with this.
I didn't need to give you that at the end of a Jack Carr book. Just in case the Russians come.
I’m walking around, I’m like, “Who's next?” This is fucking rad. You're the man. Thank you. I love you.
I love you. Thank you, guys.
It’s so good.
Thanks, everybody, for tuning in.
Important Links
Jeremy Myers - Instagram
Scott Parker - Previous Episode